The war in Panzamm is the leading topic of discussions at the While House today, as President Carper and Vice President Malcot preside over talks with world leaders.  Lemonade was served at several outdoor sessions because cookies were rejected by the partisan iPods.

Left-wing officials flew in circles as did right-wing opponents.  Several collisions involving both sides were reported.

Back in Kansas Dorothy and Toto Marx found the missing gelatin-based house that had been missing since last Wednesday.  Strong winds from State legislators kept everyone at the celebration from going outside.

Actress Winter Muffin was seen yesterday by a crowd of some 2,500 peeping toms who had purchased tickets for the event.  Her agent, Why Lewis said that several studios were trying to sign Miss Muffin for future showings.

Producer Mike Gass announced his latest film, “Walls of Mount Moose” last night before a record crowd of Hollywood’s wealthiest people.  He said the film is expected to destroy all box-office records for the last 6 months.  The film’s story-line centers on three certified idiots who bungle everything they try to do, while running around in circles hitting and slapping each other. The rumor mill has it that the film is a thinly disguised expose of Washington politics.

Shamed Circus owner Clyde Hoppen is reported to have at least three wives.  Since moving to Utah last year, Clyde has been unavailable for comment.