When it comes to faith, I am no giant.

I do believe in God.  I choose not to consider a universe without a creator.  I see the wonders of this planet and the amazing complexities of living things, and I know that God exists.  I ponder the vastness of the universe itself, all the galaxies and stars and the unknown things in space, and I know that we have a creator.

But daily life gives me a good run for my money.  The Bible speaks of a kind of Antichrist that will be able to wear out the saints of God (Daniel 7:24-27).  I remember that when I first read that I wondered how any man or evil spirit could succeed in “wearing out” the true people of God.  Now that I am older and more eager to make each day count for good, I think I can understand.

The trouble I have with faith is not rooted in God.  He is always faithful in my life and has always proven His Word and goodness to me.  My trouble is my own impatience and expectations.  I want things to go a certain way, and when they don’t go that way, then I become frustrated.

A pastor or psychologist might counsel me to simply apply what I know about God and what I know about myself.  If I know, from both faith and personal experience, that God is truly good and reliable and kind, and if I know that I often become impatient over nothing, than I should be able to logically control my thinking and responses to life’s little frustrations.  That makes perfect sense, right?

The problem is that I really am impatient and intolerant of events and circumstances that fail to measure up to my imagination.  I really do want things to develop in a progressively “good” way that I can both understand and accept.

I am forced to recognize my humanity.  I am not a holy angel, and I often prove to myself and everyone else that I am not very much like Christ.  Christ trusted the Father at all times, in all circumstances.  I simply do not.

When the pressure is really on, I become distressed.  I am like those disciples in the boat when the waves and wind began to really kick up.  They knew the lake and they knew what the wind and waves could do.  They were still a little weak in their understanding of what God could do in the Lord Jesus Christ.  They could not believe that Jesus was actually napping while the storm built up in strength.  They wanted Him to awaken immediately and do something.

Oddly (but perfectly in line with human nature) when the Lord Jesus did wake up and do something, the disciples became more concerned over His power than they had been over the storm.  I am like that.

Even when the Lord is clearly with me (as He was with the disciples in the boat) I become alarmed over the difficulties and stresses of life.  And then when He acts to help me, sometimes instantly changing circumstances, I become a little confused about what really happened, and how weak my faith must really be.

God is good.  That is one of the key truths evident in Scripture, one of things that genuine faith will always affirm, and one of the first things we are often tempted to forget. I don’t think the temptation is accidental.

Satan seems to attack our faith right at that very point, over and over.  He was successful in getting Adam and Eve to doubt the goodness of God’s motives and purpose.  He succeeded in getting the disciples in the boat that day of the storm to forget that God’s will and purpose is always good.  They gave in to fear and it led to panic.  Human nature is quick to mistrust anyone or anything that does not instantly respond to our every want or (perceived) need.

Good faith will make us ready to accept whatever God wills for us.  Even death itself cannot shake real faith when it is flowing into our hearts from the Holy Spirit of God.  My problem is that I very often place my own plans, my own ambitions and ideas ahead and above God’s perfect will in my life.

Instead of being like King David when he so often trusted God with child-like faith, I am too much like King Saul, who tended to rage against the circumstances or look for other options.   Saul did automatically look to God or to His message.  He was willing to even seek out a witch for some clues as to what to do next.  And while I would not consult with a witch, my horoscope or some so-called psychic, I do tend to try and move ahead even when the Lord is telling me to wait and be patient.

My faith is often lacking just when I really need it to be strong.  Aware that I have only a little while on this planet, and that I have many things I hope to accomplish, I keep trying to push God into action, and if he seems not to be doing anything for me, than I try to get it done on my own.  I would laugh at anyone else doing the same thing.

Thankfully, the Lord God is not out to get me.  While I often feel like Job who accused God of just waiting to judge and criticize his every move, the Lord makes it evident that He is out to bless and not curse.  God works in Christ to reconcile and not to alienate.  We do all the alienating, and God does all the reconciling.

The kindness and mercies of God work in my life to instruct and strengthen me in my walk of faith.  He proves us and equips us, blesses us and prepares us.  When we fail in some way to measure up, He forgives and lifts us up.  God is faithful even when we are not.  God is good, even when we doubt His good intentions for us.  God saves us even when we fail to really trust Him for help and rescue.

I thank the Lord for His kindness and mercies toward me.  I thank Him for countless good answers to prayer.  I thank Him for protecting from dangers never even saw or felt, and I thank Him for doing things His way, and in His good time, even when I gave up trusting Him.  The Lord is very good.  His mercies never fail us.  His compassions are renewed every morning.

Jim