it has recently come to my attention
again
that the moon is not
as perfectly round
as say
a beach ball

I will try to describe
here and now
just how that makes me feel
it’s important
after all
that we learn to talk about
the things that make us feel

so say those who know
the experts who tell us how to think
what to worry about
and how and when to feel

anyway
back to the moon
when I was young
my mom told me things
all kinds of things
about the moon
and about life in general

I always listened
as best I could
but must confess
I didn’t always understand

I must have been ten
before I realized
that the image of the rabbit
which I still see to this day
in the face of the moon
was not a living thing
not really there at all

I don’t know if I ever gave much thought
to just how perfectly round
the moon might be
few things
after all
are exactly as they might first appear

our first image of God
for example
may be distorted
by any number of things
by religious ideas and imagery
by television
books
or movies
by popular notions
by fears
hatreds
or the huge ignorance
so common to us all

even believers
experience many changes
in their views of God

first
He is our Judge
the perfect God Almighty
always right and righteous
always watching
ready to execute justice
swift and eternal
on sinners and saints alike

then
maybe
we learn to see Him
as Father and Son
as Savior and Shepherd
as Kindness and Mercy
as a bright Hope for eternity
a ticket to heaven
a light in the vast darkness
that is our understanding
of life and death
and whatever comes next

to see God as Spirit
is both impossible and necessary
we cannot see Spirit
but we can experience
the Presence and power
of God in this way
we can be taught
and filled
and lifted up
and made stronger
we can learn to hear
to be directed
we can
by the Spirit of God
learn to read ancient texts
that would otherwise
be so many dead words
confusing words and stories
and demands
for righteousness
and wisdom
that we simply do not possess
in our flesh and blood

to see God as Life
as Truth and Ultimate Reality
in a universe
that otherwise
poses more questions
than will ever be answered
here and now
in this age of knowledge
to see God as life
in this way
is to walk by faith
the faith of ancient prophets
and repentant sinners
of the Lord Jesus Himself
the Word eternal
who was made flesh
for our sakes

I have spent far more time
I think
wrestling with God
trying both to grasp His will
and His ways
and at the same time
to have my own way

I want to understand more
than God wishes to teach me
and I resist the perfect understanding
He works daily to give me
I want things to make sense
in earthly ways
while the Good Lord
labors to this very day
to teach me the reality
of life everlasting

eternal life
after all
begins here and now
not after we die

to my eyes
the moon is as round as it needs to be
always looking pretty much the same
even though it always looks different
at different times
the changes in appearance
have more to do with
the time of day or night
the time of the month
or even the time of the year
when I might happen to look up
than any changes or differences
in the moon itself

I suspect that God changes
very little
in His love or attitude toward us
as we go through our times
of darkness or light
fear or worry
frustration or faith
yet our perceptions vary greatly
according to the condition
of our hearts
on any given day
or as we lay waiting for sleep
to give us rest
in nights made long with thinking
wondering
wishing
hoping
pleading
or simply thanking God
for countless blessings already given

for me
then
the moon is round enough
and God is all He should be
all I ever really need
though I spend a lot of time
wanting more
that will not last anyway
while on my way
to a place
where I will see God
in all His glory
and where I will know
at last
as I am known

©2008 Jim Sutton